Sweetie's Blog

JESSIE

I Am Sweetie — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 22:50:41 +0000

I am finally blogging again. I am Sweetie. I have not blogged in nearly two weeks because I have been very busy with things. I am still shedding and the time it takes to deal with that slows me down a lot. I have been fighting with my brothers and sisters a lot because they hate me. I don’t know why they hate me so much. Perhaps it is because I sit on Daddy’s chair each night and he pets me a lot and I also sit with Mommy and she pets me too and Daddy talks to me a lot. I think they are jealous and that is why they attack me and do not act friendly. Several weeks back I told you about my new friend Jessie the ant and how I invited his big family into the kitchen and how Mommy got mad when she woke up and found so many ants in the kitchen. Mommy thought she got rid of all of the ants but that is not true. I said to Jessie when Mommy was yelling at me “Jessie climb in my ear and hide”. And he said “Thank you my friend Sweetie. I will do that”. And he hid in my ear. Later I brought Jessie to the crack in the back door that he had used to bring his family into the house. I waited until Mommy went to take a poop-which she does a lot. Jessie said to me ” Thank you my new friend. I would like to come back so we can do friend things”. I said “I would like that very much. Why don’t you come back after midnight when Mommy is asleep and we can talk?” Jessie said “Okay. Goodbye for now Sweetie”. I said “Goodbye Jessie”. Then Jessie left and as he did he waved an antenna at me and I moved one of my ears. Mommy and Daddy went to bed that night at 11PM and I had an hour before Jessie came to visit me so I cleaned my paws and my head and I watched the Bill O’Reilly show for a while. He is okay but sometimes he annoys me because he raises his voice. Shepard Smith does not raise his voice a lot. Bill O’Reilly does and I do not like it but he had on Dennis Miller and I like him even though I do not understand most of what he says but I think he is cute. At midnight Jessie came through the crack near the back door and I said “Hello again Jessie” and he said “Hello again Sweetie. Nice to see you my new friend” and I said “It is nice to see you too. Would you like something to eat?” Jessie said “I would love a snack if it would not be too much trouble”. I said “I do not have much to offer because Mommy is making us all suffer and be on a diet because my brother Frankie is so fat but I have some bread and cracker crumbs I saved when Daddy was eating a snack at 10PM and you are welcome to have them because I do not like bread or crackers.” Jessie said “Thank you for thinking of me. I will have the bread and cracker crumbs. Does you Daddy always make a lot of crumbs?” I said “Yes. He is a very nice Daddy and tries to not make crumbs but he always does and Mommy is not happy but she loves him a lot and puts up with him a lot.” Jessie said “My mother was like that with my father too. See we have a lot in common”. I said “Yes we do Jessie”. We talked for many hours and had a good time. I told Jessie at 5AM that he had to go because Daddy would be up soon. Jessie said “I have to go anyway because I have some errands to run before most of the humans get up from sleeping”. I said “Okay but you must come back again” Jessie said “I will. Goodbye Sweetie”. I said “Goodbye Jessie”. And he left and I went to sleep on Daddy’s chair so he could talk to me and pet me when he came down the stairs to go to work. I would write more but I have to go clean my bum before Shepard Smith comes on the television at 7PM. I am Sweetie.

NO BLOGGING TODAY

I Am Sweetie — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 00:54:38 +0000

I am Sweetie and I do not feel like blogging today. I have been shedding a lot. Mommy is mad at me because I tried to bury my breakfast. I am sick of Tuna and Egg. Besides I worry about my cholesterol because I am 11 years old and not getting any younger. Mommy does not understand that when a cat looks like it is burying the food, it is the only way we can let them know that we are not happy with our meal. This is because humans refuse to try and learn our language which is called “Meowan’. They want us in their houses but expect us to learn their language which is called English even though we live in America. I like English people because everything they say sounds very nice. I will blog soon. I am sorry I did not feel like blogging today. I am Sweetie.

I AM STILL SHEDDING

I Am Sweetie — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 22:32:14 +0000

I have not blogged for over a week. I am Sweetie. I hope you are doing well. I have been very busy. I am still shedding but Mommy and Daddy have started brushing me almost every night so that means I do not have to spend as much time cleaning the shedded fur off myself. I had to help Daddy last week because he had to prepare for a colonoscopy. I am glad cats do not have to have colonoscopys done to them because I could never drink that funny water Daddy has to drink and he cannot eat anything for one whole day. I have to eat or I feel very funny, but I do not tell jokes–it is not that kind of funny I mean. I helped Daddy by making sure he had a clear path to the human version of the litter box. The human version has no sand or litter. It is located in a small room where Daddy goes he says ‘to have some peace’. I do not understand how you can prevent war my going to the bathroom. There are many things about humans I do not understand. I have to go now and meow for my Grandparents. They are old people and when they call Mommy and Daddy like me to talk to them. They do not understand what I say; only Daddy does. He is very smart and handsome. My Mommy is too. I will try to blog more often. Next time I will tell you what happened to my new friend Jessie who is an ant. I do not really have any friends because my brothers and sisters hate me a lot but Jessie is my friend as I told you in a previous blog. I have to go now and clean my head. I am Sweetie.

I AM STILL HERE

I Am Sweetie — Fri, 29 May 2009 00:32:19 +0000

I have not blogged for a while. I am blogging now. I have been very busy shedding. As I explained in my last posting, this takes up a lot of my time. Because shedding takes up a lot of my time and because I have to watch Sheppard Smith twice a day and clean myself and watch Tova Borgnine when she is on the television and spend time with Mommy and Daddy, I have been too busy to blog. Also, there was the incident last week when I got into trouble with Mommy. She woke up one morning and found a lot of ants in the kitchen all over the countertop and the walls and the floor. She was not very happy. She became even more unhappy when she found out I let the ants in the house. She told me it was a bad thing to do and she yelled at me. My father was not happy but he was at work and did not have to kill them and throw them away or check all the containers so he told me later he had to pretend to be as angry as Mommy or she would yell at him but that he understood why I did it. My brothers and sisters hate me and, since I am not allowed out of the house, I have no friends. An ant came in through a crack by the backdoor the night before and I was out in the kitchen having some water and he said to me “Hello there. My name is Jessie. I am an ant and want to be your friend.” Since I have no friends and because he looked normal enough for an ant, I told him: “Okay. We’re friends then. My name is Sweetie and I have five brothers and sisters and they hate me so I am glad you want to be my friend.” Jessie said: “I have five hundred and thirty-two brothers and sisters and we all like each other. They are as nice as I am. Would you like them to be your friends too?” I told him “Yes, that would be very nice because none of my brothers and sisters have that many friends.” Jessie said: “Well then. Let me go get them. I know they would like to meet their new friend.” I said to Jessie: “Okay, go get your brothers and sisters. I will wait here.” Jessie went back out of the crack. A few minutes later he came back followed by several hundred of his brothers and sisters. Jessie said: ‘Sorry I could not bring all your new friends, but some are next door looking for food.” I said: “That is okay. I understand”. So then we spent the rest of the night getting to know each other. I especially like Jessie’s brother Horatio. He is a big and strong ant but has a heart of gold. He was named after Horatio Caine on CSI: Miami and is just like him. He even has red antennas. I tried to explain to Mommy that these were nice ants and they were not like the ones you see on the newscasts and in the prisons but she was mad. As you can see I have been very busy. I will blog more when I next blog. I have to go clean my bum now. I am Sweetie.

I AM STILL HERE

I Am Sweetie — Tue, 12 May 2009 22:36:16 +0000

I have not blogged in a while. I am blogging now. I have had sinus trouble and I gets it really bad in the Spring sometimes. I cannot blow my nose because I have no thumbs and cannot use Kleenix so I have to suffer with a stuffed nose. I have to breathe a lot through my mouth so my mouth gets dry. That means I have to drink more water than I normally do which means I have to we-we a lot more in the litter box. Since I have to go in the litter box more often and it it full of litter I have to clean my paws a lot more often and this takes time. I am also shedding. People think that shedding your fur is easy. It is not. In the cat world we are required to keep an eye on what fur we shed so we do not get bald patches. So we have to constantly shift our shedding to all areas of our bodies. This takes a lot of time to plan. I also get a lot of fur balls and they are not fun. There is a lot about cats humans do not know. Humans have it a lot easier. I also have my schedule that I have to follow. Shepard Smith is on at 3PM and 7PM every day; Tova Borgnine is on 3 days a week; I have to listen to Cristy Lane singing; the USA Channel broadcasts repeats of House a lot with Robert Sean Leonard. He plays Doctor Wilson and he is cute. Doctor House is not cute but handsome and reminds me of my Daddy. They both walk funny and don’t like other people and are really smart and play musical instruments and take Vicodin. My Daddy is not a doctor but sometimes he thinks he is. Shepard Smith will be on the television in 1/2 hour so I have to go and clean my bum. I am Sweetie.

RABBIS

I Am Sweetie — Mon, 04 May 2009 22:01:46 +0000

I have not blogged in six days. I watched the Kentucky Derby on Saturday. It was fun to watch the horses go around the track very fast. Why is the race name after a hat? I like fedoras better. Daddy wears a fedora and with his beard people say he looks like a rabbi. Rabbis scare me and speak funny. I tried to watch Tova Borgnine on Home Shopping but I gave up because I am not allowed to buy anything. Mommy took away my credit card and my debit card and I have no place to carry cash. She will not allow me to have a purse. Every woman should have a purse. Tova has many purses. My Mommy has many purses. If I had a purse I could keep many things inside of it. I could use it as a weapon when my brothers and sisters attack me. Lately they have not been attacking me as much. They have been attacking Frankie a lot. He does not fight back. I like to attack him because he does not fight back. Frankie weighs 21 pounds. If he decided to fight back he could sit on anyone of use and we would get hurt. I watched Shepard Smith today. He is very cute. I wish I was his cat. I will try to blog more often but I lead a very busy life. I have to go and clean my stomach before House comes on. I think Robert Sean Leonard is dreamy. I am Sweetie.

94 DEGREES

I Am Sweetie — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 00:34:14 +0000

I did not blog yesterday. I am now blogging. It was hot again today but Mommy put the air conditioning on so I was not hot. I looked out the window and saw people walking by and they seemed very hot even though they do not have fur coats. It was 94 degrees but I was inside. Even though I was inside I felt very tired today so I slept a lot. Two of my brothers attacked me and I had to fight back. I am the oldest cat and they do not respect me. What is wrong with people today? I have to go but this time it is not because I have to clean my bum. I did that earlier today. I am Sweetie.

IT WAS HOT

I Am Sweetie — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 22:49:25 +0000

It was over 80 degrees yesterday. I was hot. I was hot because I have a fur coat. Don’t listen to the Cat Expert People who tell you our fur and skin keeps us cool. They are wrong. I was hot and I cannot sweat. My sister DoDo was hot yesterday too. She sleeps alot when she is hot but she also snores. Mommy and Daddy say she is a “Little Angel” but I don’t think angels are supposed to snore. I was overheated until they put on the air conditioning late yesterday afternoon. Today they left the air conditioning on so I was not hot. I slept alot today and did not watch much TV. Shepard Smith is not on during the weekend. Tova Borgnine was not on Home Shopping either. Mommy and Daddy will watch The Tudors tonight. It is violent and has nude British women people in it sometimes which Daddy likes. I have to go clean my bum now. I am Sweetie.

FRIDAY

I Am Sweetie — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 23:57:53 +0000

This is my blog posting for today. Today is Friday. I am Sweetie.

IT WAS RAINING

I Am Sweetie — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 00:23:26 +0000

I did not do much today. It was raining off and on and that depressed me a lot. Daddy fed us red snapper for dinner and I do not like that very much. I had to attack my brother Atticus again because he tried to make the moves on me. He thinks he is popular with the females but none of them can stand him much. My nose was stuffed today with something but I could not get it out because I have no thumbs so I had to try and blow it out. I watched Shepard Smith today and he said we should never ever torture people like the Muslims. I think my sister Grace is a Muslim so I think torture is fine. They caught the Craig’s List killer and he is in jail and my Daddy says that means the human girls in Chelsea are safe for now. I do not know what that means. Who is Craig? I have to go now and clean my feet. I am Sweetie.